Old Notebooks

from Machinery by Joseph DeSimone

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lyrics

I guess you ought to know by now
And I shouldn't have to spell it out
It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s alright
It’s not like you can’t tell
I know I’m not hiding it very well
It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s alright

It's another night of this
And I'm tired, and maybe that’s all it is
It’s fine, it’s fine, I know, that's true
And I know you don’t need me to say it out loud
But sometimes I think I do

Kept it on scattered notes
A sort of code to keep it close
But never finished
Never written
I don’t want to say the words
And I don’t want to talk anymore
But I still remember what I wrote
In those old notebooks

The pavement, the paint,
The voices in the wind,
The insects hiding all of their guts
Inside of their little skeletons
And a message left for you
Of what I really mean to do
I don’t know how you could’ve missed it

It’s just another episode
It’s an overdose on Rob Crow
And it’ll pass me by the morning I know
There’s this shiver in the air
And it’s crawling over everywhere
As I just sit and I stare out these open windows

Well I hope when you look up you’ll see
The stars the sky, the clouds, the rain, the haze
Because I'd hate to take that away
Just so you could see the vague eyes and loose shape of my face
Because I won’t miss you
At least not like Slint, Shellac, Pinback told me to

Both of us lying there
And the look you gave me
Like I was crazy to even ask
A pair of trembling hands
Tracing the scabs on your back
Pressing my head against your shoulder blades
And hearing your heart race
The ground feels so close
And the sky is so far away
And I am afraid
To move
To wake you
Afraid like I might wake up too
When allI really mean to do
Is wake up with you
And have you here still
To wake up with me too

First breath first words
Like it was the only thing I’d ever heard
It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s alright
And the ice and the snow
And the morning light, it’ll be alright, you know
And I’m fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm alright

credits

from Machinery, released November 18, 2022

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Joseph DeSimone Baltimore, Maryland

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